words to live by

I have two sayings which I felt really resonated with me, applied to me, not so much words to live by as words to comfort.

They are:

Go quietly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. - Desiderata

To know great happiness, one must first know great sadness - Confucious

Now I have three sayings, and to be honest I think the third one just has to be words to live by, for sure:

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little - Edmund Burke

visit www.hardrainproject.com

PQB

mille-feuille

just re-reading my last blog (of a few minutes ago) I realise that like the quangos I was moaning about, this blog has perhaps too many layers, confusingly...

I am sure I read that good blogs should have a clear purpose: emotional clearing, therapy, political...

Mine is all and none of the above. And in any case, I would certainly never call it 'good' or 'clear'!

But if you think about mille-feuille - all those layers, confusing, crumbs everywhere, can be insubstantial, but also sweet and a welcome treat - I suppose it is a good metaphor for my blog, which is then in turn very descriptive of my head. All over the place.

I don't think anyone's out there anyway. ;-)

PQB

ow

I've already used the picture of the rocks inside my head. Double them, and that gives you an idea of how it's feeling right now, after a night drinking wine, talking, laughing and crying with my lovely friend.

A strange night involving all of the above plus a ghost from the past (hopefully laid to rest, but we will see what happens when the fog clears) and a make-or-break discussion with someone who may be of the future.

When I was writing about my work a couple of days ago, there were things I meant to say but ran out of time.

Searching the archives, I found a news item telling of a man who'd been fined under the 'Control of Eggs Act' for, well, not controlling his eggs properly...

That was welcome light relief after the events of the morning - a waste of public money so that politicians and business people and those employed in the mille-feuille of quangos that make up modern life. If I'd been playing corporate-speak bingo, I'd have been national champion - partnership working, sustainable, renewable energy, blue sky thinking, the new north star, stakeholders - ding ding ding they were all there, and more.

Great news that our circulation has increased by 500 over the last few months...

I found prayer flags in my room today. They're cheerful - at the church I used to attend, prayer sometimes seemed such a serious and - dare I say it - joyless thing; heaven forbid that you just chatted to God about your day. And prayer flags would have been seen as an abomination.

I read that they are supposed to flutter the prayers up to heaven...which is lovely.

PQB

travail

This week has not been great, workwise: it's been one of those weeks where not only have I pleased no one at all, but I seem to have gone one step further and utterly pissed many people off. For an inherent people-pleaser like myself, that's very stress-inducing...and of course, I tend to make matters worse by over-compensating, apologising, explaining, etc etc etc...which makes everything much, much worse.

However, at the same time, I love my job. I am so grateful for it. What gets me down is politics and relationships (I'm not good at dealing with either because of shyness, having been out of that kind of environment for several years, and just general social ineptitude).

I love the challenge and doing something different every day. I love the potential for change - both my own personal change, and the opportunity to effect change, perhaps, in my tiny part of the world.

I titled the photo above "aspirations" because it perfectly displays my own, and is a reminder of why the shitty weeks are worth it.

I would write more, but my dinner's ready.

PQB