Will I find it?

Can I find it? Seeking peace... and maybe this is one way of helping myself find it, since I type much faster than I write (and probably much faster than I think, which will no doubt become very clear very quickly).

For various reasons, which I won't bore the blog with right now, I have touched the bottom - rock bottom - and am currently travelling back up towards the surface. I hope. Sometimes the water is clear, colourful and I can see sunlight up above me. Other times, it's black and murky, there is sediment and weeds dragging me back down a few metres.

Maybe this will help me propel myself up towards the sunlight that I have to believe is still there.

Despite what some of my lengthy posts might suggest, in real life I'm kind of quiet. I don't say much. I've struggled with this on and off, thinking I should be more vocal, but I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm just quiet, and that's ok.

I do have things to say, things to get out of my head, and that's why I thought it might be good (for me, if not for the internet) to blog.

So my purpose in being here is to purge some of the workings of my tortured mind and try to process them through, freeing up space for yet more garbled thoughts. And while doing so, find some peace of mind.

I doubt if anyone will read this let alone comment on it, but if there is anyone out there who really wants to know more about *me*, I am female, Scottish, 37 (for a wee while longer) and I live in a small west coast town. Despite some of the rubbish you'll see from me on here, I write for a living (for our local newspaper). So console yourself with that thought: at least you didn't have to pay to read this.

I am one of those people who has piles of books all round the house. The piles never get any smaller, probably because I am *always* buying more books to add to them. Whatever's on top gets read. The great thing about this is that when I have a week off work, I reshuffle all the piles and find buried treasures at the bottom, which satisfies my new book addiction-craving for perhaps a day or two.

I will probably ramble about the books I read at some point.

I love motorbikes and music, people and different cultures, beliefs and lack of beliefs. And dogs. Imagine a world without dogs...how awful would that be?

PQB